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Joke of the Day

"What is the most popular cheese in ""the Upside Down""? Demogorgonzola"

"I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: ""What do you do at a red light?"" Me: ""I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."""

"What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm? It was all broused up!"

"You matter... Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy."

"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman."

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza place and says 'Make me one with everything'."

"I was talking to a North African girl in her native language for hours. We just clicked."

"Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like ""Abso-fruit-ly!"" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know"

"Me: I don't know how to ride a horse Whiskey: Yes you do"