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Joke of the Day

"A seal walks into a club... that is all."

"What do you call Bill O'Reilly? Ass seen on TV."

"Why do butter substitutes have such a hard time? Because they're always being marginalized!"

"What is an Hommish woman's fantasy? Two Mennonite"

"Hi, I'm here to see the doctor. -me Witch doctor? -reception Nooo...I think he's Jewish. -me [blank stare] Please sit down."

"Do you know why I hate drinking with blind people? They can't handle their booze and always black-out."

"[blind date is waiting nervously at the table] *I slowly emerge out of my own massive vape cloud and begin walking towards her*"

"If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line."

"Which room in Donalds Trump's house has the thickest walls? his-panic room."

"Did you hear about the prize for the Amish children's cooking competition? Whichever kiddo makes the best egg dish gets to keep the Amlet omelet amulet"