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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Bill O'Reilly? Ass seen on TV."

"Rey: Why do you hide behind a mask? Kylo Ren: *takes off his mask to reveal his real face* Rey: Wow. Put the mask back on."

"I once went to an all you can eat bakery in France. It was a painful experience."

"Stopped the microwave at 0:01 AND stopped the gas pump at an even $50.00! *Adds Bomb Squad Specialist to resume."

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... It's not like I have 2020 vision"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with 5 guys? She came home with a big, red snapper."

"Things were different in the 80s one time I was kidnapped for a week and no one looked for me. I came home & my room was converted to a gym."

"Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work"

"Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton are stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean... Who survives? America."

"Why wont Apple ever make a car? Because it can't have windows in it!!!!"