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Joke of the Day

"Black friday, ughhhh ALL FRIDAYS MATTER!"

"I'm not really a fan of Apple products. Mostly because I'm a bigger fan of not being broke."

"I just came up with a great joke about blowjobs. I'd share it, but I'm afraid it'd be in poor taste."

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income."

"[at the gym] Trainer: You want me to spot you, bro? Waldo: Please don't do that."

"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"

"How did the hacker kill himself? Overddos."

"Bacon: Toast, great tan! Eggs: Ham, you smell good! Ham: Thank you Eggs, you too! Toast: Bacon, you're awesome bro! -complementary breakfast"

"Life is like chess... We can't all be white."

"I never knew the word ""mom"" could even have 7 syllables until I had kids."