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Joke of the Day

"The phrase ""Tricky Dick"" refers to both former President Richard Nixon and penis puppeteer Rich Handey. Be specific in your usage."

"I like my women like I like my hard drives... FAT and 32."

"Chopping Onions I walked into the kitchen to see my Dad chopping Onions up. As soon as I saw him, I started crying because Onions is my dog."

"Rock stars are always hitting the people they date.... Because they want everything to be a smashing success. After I wrote this, I'm reevaluating my life."

"I like to take a dog with me when I play golf.... I put my balls in its mouth."

"Priest: Do you take this woman to be your wife? Me: ""I do"" Priest: Ok can you say it again without using finger quotes while you do it"

"What did the pirate say to the flying prostitute? Land ho!"

"Why do men die before their wives? - They want to."

"My mom bought me a bottle of whiskey as a Xmas gift... She seemed a little upset that I said she should've mailed it ahead of her visit."

"What Do You Call A 7 Second Minecraft Video? VINECRAFT DO IT FOR THE MINE XD"