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Joke of the Day
"Vaccine to cooties 4chan"
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"Do other animals have signature tranquilizers, or are horses just especially stressed out?"
"If the wife uses dual sim phone, save both numbers under one name : ""Wife"" Never save them as ""Wife1"" and ""Wife2"" ~ A husband from hospital"
"[skydiving, first jump] INSTRUCTOR: everyone ready? EAGLE: yes. HAWK: check. SPARROW: ready. PENGUIN: this is a really bad idea."
"I'm always a little disappointed when I walk away from my car and it doesn't explode after I press the lock button."
"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Bolt can finish a race."
"So this guy comes in a smokeshop. No wait! A horse! So this guy comes in a horse"
"What do you call a bear that's questioning their sexuality? A bipolar bear."
"I'm gonna nail horseshoes on my nikes and gallop behind joggers"
"You can tuck a carrot into bed , but it won't know what you are doing because he's a carrot"