111385

Joke of the Day

"I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix... I mean, I've seen Stranger Things."

"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It's called lunch."

"Doctor & Patient F Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"I just ate raw chicken fingers And then I threw up gang signs."

"Parents: Your room is a mess. Me: You really need to see my life."

"Your check a$$hole light is on."

"So this guy comes into a bar No wait... it was a horse. So this guy comes into a horse..."

"My girlfriend is the squareroot of -100. She's a 10 but it sucks because she's imaginary."

"Never tell a woman that her place is in the kitchen. That's where the knives are kept."

"Why would you name your human child Hunter? Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist."