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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist? You can actually negotiate with a terrorist."

"My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism So they repossessed her."

"Unemployed goal day 37: slide across random car hoods action movie style. And then run like someone is chasing me."

"My wife has the hottest ass in the world... Me."

"What's a vaccines favorite song? Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots"

"I asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he'd had He started counting but then fell asleep."

"I met my soulmate. She didn't."

"Q: What do you call a beaten politician? A: Donald Trumped"

"Why was the powerlifter fired from his job at the restaurant? He was awesome at cleaning the bar, but he wouldn't stop jerking it."

"I told him I like a big vocabulary and now he won't stop using 72pt font."