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Joke of the Day
"I met my soulmate. She didn't."
Next Joke
"Woke up to a beautiful May morning Then we all exchanged gifts and sang carols."
"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo Drizzle."
"*bursts into church* DONT MARRY THAT WOMAN ... Undertaker: ""This is a funeral"" ... OKAY WELL IT STILL HOLDS TRUE, DONT MARRY HER"
"How did the hipster burn his fingertips? He was changing the lightbulb before it was cool. [rimshot]"
"WIFE: stop quoting Britney Spears songs or I'll leave you ME: but I'm a slave 4 u WIFE: that's it ME: (whispers) oops I did it again"
"Why is there no volume control on the microwave? Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza?"
"Where does Santa's stripper mom work? The North Pole"
"Pam: You blew me off for Katya, the big-titted cyborg! Little Miss...uhh... Archer: R2-""Double-D""-2?"
"What is the difference between a cocktail and a dickbutt? You order a dickbutt at a gay bar."