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Joke of the Day

"I asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he'd had He started counting but then fell asleep."

"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."

"How much is an M&M? 50 cents. That's Ludicris!"

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"""Do not touch"" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille."

"Madonna falling was wrong on so many levels. Well 2, the stage and the floor."

"What do turtles do for fun? Play hide and shell."

"How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4... one to drop it and three to PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP, PICK IT UUUUUUUP!!!"

"Smokey the Bear just told me that only *I* could prevent forest fires. This is a lot of pressure, people."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Art."