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Joke of the Day

"How many friend zoned guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they will all just stand there complimenting it and get pissed when it wont screw."

"I can undo a bra with two fingers and no eyes but can't tie a tie with both hands and a 6 minute video tutorial."

"Four gay men walk into a bar and there's only one available stool. What do they do? Flip the stool over."

"I want a hair cut please. Certainly which one !"

"KID:I drew you a picture! ME:What's this? KID:Our house. ME:What's the orange stuff? KID:Fire. ME:Why's the house on fire? KID:I wanna PS4."

"Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct."

"I'm like a reverse MacGyver. I can take a perfectly working item, step on it drunk, then turn it into dozens of unusable, meaningless parts."

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"Why couldn't Donald Trump be a successful song writer? Because every good song has a bridge, not a wall."

"What's the worst part about being a rollerblader? Telling your parents that you're gay."