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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about being a rollerblader? Telling your parents that you're gay."

"The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro."

"Don't try this at home. If homeless, go for it!"

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eating out."""

"Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT"

"My one and only joke. Two olives are sitting at a bar, one falls off and the other one says ""Ahhh are you ok?"" And the one that fell is like ""Yeah, olive."""

"If David Bowie were alive today... he'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, ""Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"""

"Mechanic Hey, have you ever heard of that hard working car mechanic that specializes in engines and the back of cars? They say he gets very exhausted."

"What is a Catholic priest's dream second job? Warden at juvenile detention center."

"Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)"