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Joke of the Day

"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol."

"Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you? Woman Driver: Sure but I don't flirt when I drive."

"What do you call a diseased duck? A Mallardy."

"That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves."

"So an orca's prey tried to escape But his fate was sealed"

"*flips a quarter into jukebox from across room, jukebox spits it back at me, it goes down my throat, ""wake me up before you go-go"" plays*"

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim denim denim..."

"Rick Astley will let you borrow some of his Disney movies But he's never gonna give you Up"

"If my wife ends an argument with ""Fine, do what you want!"" I'm pretty sure the words ""If you do, I'll stab you in your sleep"" are implied."

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Sorry."