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Joke of the Day

"what is kurt cobain's eye color Blue. One blue to left, one blue to the right."

"Do you want to hear a short joke? Never mind, it'd probably go right over your head anyway."

"what's harder than closing your blinds? My dick as I watch you through them"

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."

"What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant? I've bean everywhere, ma'am!"

"alladin: do u trust me jasmine: i've only known you for 2 hours a: so u don't wanna jump off this rooftop j: lemme ask my tiger first"

"*COPS* cop: there he is! get him! 'you'll never catch me! i'm translucent-man!' *goes translucent* cop: we can still kinda see you"

"Alabama changed the legal drinking age to 33. They're trying to keep it out of high schools."

"Two fish are in a tank. One fish turns to the other and says, ""You man the guns, I'll drive""."

"listen, officer - t h e o r e t i c a l l y - would I still get a carpool lane ticket if I have a body in the trunk"