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Joke of the Day

"""I'll never forget you Jack"" ""Can I float on that wood too, Rose?"" ""I'll always remember you"" ""Seems like there's room for--"" ""Goodbye Jack"""

"How do you separate the Greek men from the Greek boys? A crowbar."

"If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex... Would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?"

"What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more? Philip Hoffman's belt."

"why are archaeologists so proud of their study? their work is always groundbreaking"

"My 5/o just said ""That's Classic!!"" WTF is classic to a 5 y/o? Blues Clues??"

"My dog just fell off the bed. I'm glad I'm not the only one drunk around here."

"I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: ""Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."""

"What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations? They both tend to shoot up schools."

"I was sitting on the toilet, constipated... The undropped turd asked me, ""Man, what did you eat?!"" ""A pound of cheese,"" I said. The turd said, ""You're shittin' me."" I said, ""I shit you not."""