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Joke of the Day

"HUSBAND 911: what your emergency? ME: my wife hears everything HUSBAND 911: do I? ME: what? HUSBAND 911: what?"

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"Boycott shampoo demand real poo instead"
"Why are black man's palms white? Because they are always leaning against cop cars."
"What's the square root of 69? 8 something."
"[guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] ""please go skiing with me I am so alone"""
"I've never had a beer explode in my car. I've never left a beer alone that long."
"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."
"Mars: I'm wet... NASA: I'm coming!"
"What do you call a fire pokemon mixed with Donald Trump ? A Charitard."
"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"