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Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."

"What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Beth ! Beth who ? Beth wisheth thweetie !"

"What do you get when you mix an Obama campaign slogan with Fifty Shades of Grey? Rope and chains."

"the waiter snuck up on me when i was eating my steak and now i'm all embarrassed 'cause i'm not sure how much to tip someone i just stabbed."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger glancing up excitedly and then looking away disappointedly multiple times while watching the intro to ""Hey Arnold"""

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? Well I can't jelly my dick up your ass"

"Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !"

"A Scotsman walks out of a bar. ..."