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Joke of the Day

"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."

"Why did the children cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

"I think we could significantly cut down the number of different pasta shapes and still be okay."

"The Terminator would have been better if they'd cast Jim Parsons. ""Bazinga"" is so much better than ""I'll be back."""

"A jew walks into a bar ... says ouch, then sues the bastard who left it there"

"your momma so fat I'm seriously concerned for her health"

"It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage."

"Why is Cinderella so bad at football? A. Because she's got a pumpkin for a coach B. Because she keeps running away from the ball"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? ""argh..."" ""NO, IT BE THE SEA"""

"Why did the Russian man get food poisoning? Because NE-coli."