15023

Joke of the Day

"""Grandpa, get out of the bathtub. You'll get cold and die."" Grandpa got out of the bathtub, got cold, and died..."

"Santa is near .... ... I can sense his presents."

"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."

"How do gay people float? Flambuoyancy."

"A Short Offensive and Original Joke What did the man reply to his friend that found a good paying job taking care of mentally challenged people? Answer: Oh, so it has its ups and downs."

"I can't imagine how stressed Americans are feeling right now. I'm Canadian and I'm chugging maple syrup and just punched a moose."

"What do you call a bird that believes in the change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science? A *parrot*-digm shift."

"When done right parallel parking is a beautiful thing to watch."

"""Yeah, you're right, this shit is really hard. You wanna go get a milkshake or something?""-me as a personal trainer"

"I'm going to talk to my broker today about cashing in some of my stocks. And by that I mean, ""taking all my change to the coinstar machine"""