39483

Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people can't make a good sausage its the wurst"

"What do you call a shoe with no grip? A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)"

"What's the difference between Kim Kardashian and a colored wash? Whites occasionally get inside a colored wash."

"Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright."

"Lawyer: As My Lord knows,... Judge: Don't presume I know it, counsel. Lawyer: Beg pardon. *clears throat* As My Lord ought to know..."

"In Canada, we don't count by Mississippi's, we count by Saskatchewan's."

"You'r mum... ...is so **poor** she can't even pay attetntion."

"How do you break the nose of a blonde without touching her? Wave your cock underneath a glass table"

"I got a call telling me my grandma only has a few hours left to live.... but I refuse to pay the ransom."

"What do you say about a man with premature ejaculation and severe diarrhea? Easy come; easy go."