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Joke of the Day

"A policeman sees two boys, one with batteries, the other with fireworks He charges the first boy and lets the other off."

"How do circumcision doctors get paid? In tips."

"The NYPD only does no-knock jokes."

"What kind of cake is even worse than fruitcake? Bukkake."

"Two muffins are sitting in an oven The first muffin turns to the other and says ""gee it's hot in here"" The other muffin replies ""holy shit! A talking fucking muffin!"""

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"What do you get when you cross Groot with Santa? A Giving Christmas Tree"

"What is Niglish? You're an asshole. Just go away."

"[walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent"

"A man walked into a psychiatrist's office wearing only saran warp... The psychiatrist said, ""I can clearly see your nuts!"""