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Joke of the Day

"I was watching the Cosmos, when Neil Degrasse Tyson related our genes are similar to ones in trees That means that all men have got wood in dem jeans."

"Dear Karma: I don't understand, he hasn't been mauled by a lion yet. XO, Me"

"""I'd have to say my two favorite things are sex, and not having my head bitten off."" -soon to be disappointed praying mantis"

"Drinking Light Beer is like going down on your sister.. it tastes the same, but just isn't right."

"Daddy! Daddy! I can't stop running in circles! Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."

"Why are fish so smart? They are always in schools!"

"Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there."

"Did you hear that they are rebooting the show Six Feet Under? I heard that Robin Williams will be starring in it"