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Joke of the Day

"Daddy! Daddy! I can't stop running in circles! Shut up son or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."

"Bradley Cooper looks like a guy who's playing a ""famous actor"" in a made-for-TV movie."

"""Settle down. You can play Whac-a-Mole when the man with the neck tattoo uses up his tokens."" Chuck E Cheese is such a special place."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey. Aged 14 years and mixed up in a little coke."

"What do Trump voters call Holocaust survivors? Mulligans."

"Types of people There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know binary, and those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base-3 joke."

"Ever see the same type of towel you own at a friend's house and be like motherfucker stole my towel but really you're just drunk at an Arbys"

"By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks."

"In a philosophy class... Professor: Sometimes an idiot's question is too hard for even 10 geniuses to answer. One student pipes up: No wonder I fail my tests."

"Divorce & Circumcision Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck."