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Joke of the Day

"If H2O is inside a fire hydrant, what is outside? K9P."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"What do you call a short sleeved British shirt? A tea-shirt. Please don't hurt me."

"God created man... and He used your face as a rough draft...."

"There's plenty more fish in the sea ""Actually we've 5% the tuna we once had. 10% of sharks. 5% of cod"" I'm bad at consoling dumped friends"

"To the additional pot that was on the stove after I thought I was done washing the dishes, I hate your stinkin' guts."

"Love me sister, I incest."

"You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles."

"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."

"The sexiest face I make is when I'm trying to squelch a yawn. Just kidding, I look like a stroke victim."