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Joke of the Day

"The Maitre'D asked if we had reservations... I said, ""Yes, but when you're as hungry as we are you throw caution to the wind!"""

"""I didn't choose the thug life."" I explain, entering an institution of higher learning."

"what do you tell a girl with two black eyes...? nothing, you already told her twice"

"You know it's a shitty day at the office when Everytime you walk into the bathroom all the stalls are taken"

"either my xbox is broken, or it wants to get married and start a family... because it's done playing games with me."

"A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line, wooden tit?"

"Sorry sweetie, but no. Alcohol is not an excuse for being a dirty slut. Nice try though."

"Sorry champ, but getting ""promoted"" from fries to drive-thru is not a promotion."

"How do fallopian tubes like there eggs in the morning?? Ovary-sy"

"Tried to prank my Tibetan Buddhist friend. I tried to prank my Buddhist friend from Tibet, I told him the Dalai Lama had died. He was skeptical and said ill bereave it when I see it."