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Joke of the Day

"What did the squirrel say when he looked up the woman's dress? What a Cunt, got no Nuts."

"Dentist sign reads ""KGB Dentistry"" The sign continued, ""We are Putin in your filling."""

"[twirling my bra above my head like a helicopter and it gets stuck on the ceiling fan, im launched thru window into neighbors yard] me: hey"

"Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them"

"you're honor, my client- hold on.. *long recess w/ client* ok my really high client wants to know if he can eat his Cheetos during the trial"

"Guys I finally came up with a name for our character: Spongebob ""Perfect!"" Thanks ""What's his last name?"" Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants"

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? More than three because the basement is still dark! *(Just heard this today, even though I know it's probably old!)*"

"It's so cold outside... I just saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!"

"Wife said she wasn't going to breadtfeed until after dar.. Sorry baby, today is the start of Mamadan. Edit: a letter"

"[in hell] Me: *sneeze* The devil: bless you Me, waving as I float to heaven: haha, fool the devil: DAMN YOU Me, floating back to hell: dang"