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Joke of the Day

"What's the best selling soft drink in Italy? Dr. Pepe"

"A friend and me were arguing over whether masterbation is better with lube or not . . . different strokes for different folks, I guess. (I think I came up with that but I'm not sure)"

"Two mexicans are in a car. Who drives? The police officer"

"Knock knock Who's there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's pointless..."

"I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive."

"What did Miss Piggy's boyfriend do after he found out she was unfaithful? Kermit suicide."

"When my girlfriend told me the news, I pushed her out of a thirty-story building. She fell pregnant."

"If you call the suicide hotline in Iraq they ask if you know how to drive a truck."

"We were promised flying cars and instead all we got were magic glowing rectangles to access all the world's knowledge :("

"When is the best time to have diarrhea? During scrabble. Because it's worth a shitload of points. - Zach Galifianakis"