158239

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage."

"What is the richest beverage? Juice."

"[Japan] HEAD SCIENTIST: Hey, what did you guys do with all the nuclear waste? *distant Godzilla noises*"

"Found my first grey pubic hair last night. Just a shame it was in a kebab."

"""How old is your girlfriend?"" ""She's52"" ""Haha, dude, she could be your mom!"" ""Yeah, actually it's yours"""

"What do you call a Whore that was shot by a sniper? 360 hoscope"

"After watching how stressful it was for Clark Kent's dad, I don't know if I could adopt a kid from a blown-up planet."

"Couples that stay fit together don't trust each other enough to go to the gym alone"

"Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo."

"Parallel lines have so much in common It's a shame they'll never meet!"