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Joke of the Day

"When my girlfriend told me the news, I pushed her out of a thirty-story building. She fell pregnant."

"A buddhist walks up to a hotdog vender... ...says make me one with everything."

"How do you know which potato is a prostitute? It's the one that says, ""Idaho."""

"new book out: ""How I Fell Off a Cliff"" by Eileen Dover"

"Shaved my 4 month old beard this morning My wife was upset, she said she really liked it. I told her I felt the same, it really grew on me over the last couple months."

"Tell your female friends that they can get 100 tampons for a dollar... No strings attached. For a limited period only."

"Knock, knock... Chicken combo... Why did the chicken cross the road? *I don't know. Why did the chicken cross the road?* To go and see ugly... Knock, Knock *Who's there?* **The chicken**"

"Fun prank Make them study for 18 years then don't give them jobs"

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more naughty in bed But now she wants me to give her toys back."

"I don't even like sports but I'm excited for next year's superbowl... Because it will be Superbowl L"