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Joke of the Day

"I would never cheat in a relationship because that would require two people finding me attractive."

"Why did the Native American quit his desk job at the Marriot? He didn't like dealing with reservations."

"I used to think I was smart, a life-long learner. Turns out I'm just confused all the time."

"I was dating an archaeologist but I had to break up with her Turns out she was a gold digger."

"If we're talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I'm thinking of burying you there."

"*getting murdered* Oh, wow, this is totally clearing my sinuses"

"What do you call an isolated mystical forest creature? Gnome alone."

"Why did the paralympic athlete loose the race? He didn't start off with the right foot. EDIT: Ortography"

"Is fapping while high hijacking? Or is it weed whacking?"

"If you ever get hit by a car, try to spin like a ballerina. You won't get another chance like this."