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Joke of the Day

"Two mexicans are in a car. Who drives? The police officer"

"Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks."

"What did the cancerous contractor say to his apprentice? Avoid the insulation asbestos you can."

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"

"It's not that Jake couldn't juggle It's that he didn't have the balls to do it"

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"

"Is the officer from the McKinney police video... Applying for the role of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3? That recovery off the tuck and roll was impeccable."

"Don't exercise so you can live longer. Exercise so when you're about to die you can think, ""at least I don't have to exercise anymore""."

"What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs? PARSLEYMONIOUS"

"What's similar about a shy jihad and a bagpipe They only make noise once they've been blown up."