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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Irishman add another bean? He stopped at 239 because if he added another one it would be 'too farty'. It would've been funnier if I could do an Irish accent."

"Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can't get to heaven? Ted: No but the more you smoke the quicker you'll get there."

"Recent Studies... Recent studies show that 4 out of 5 blondes are blonde"

"My friend just brought home five new chickens for her chicken coop, and asked for suggestions for naming them... I suggested ""breakfast, lunch, dinner, brunch and supper..."""

"What is Yoda's last name? Layhehoo"

"A dog with only 3 legs walks into a saloon in the Old West He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"I like to watch fat people walk while a tuba plays in my mind."

"Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask."

"My doctor's just told me I am suffering from paranoia Well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking"

"A Limerick There once was a barmaid in Salles, On her chest wrote the price of ale. And on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was the same information in Braille."