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Joke of the Day

"Why is your mom like a vacuum? She sucks, blows, and gets laid in the closet. Not to mention she also gets turned on by your dad"

"Cop: do u have anything illegal in the vehicle Me: *thinks about all the drugs in the car* no Cop: why did you just say asterisk thinks abo"

"How did Nazi's pickup Jewish Women? With a dust pan and broom"

"I am trying to come up with a joke about the Patriots not winning the Super Bowl but.. I keep having a giant problem with the punchline"

"I hate it when I'm trying to discreetly pick a wedgie in public and inadvertently end up doing every dance routine from Spice World."

"So my doctor said I have 6 months so I shot him and the judge gave me 15 years"

"Is it just me Or do circles seem pointless?"

"Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?"

"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""

"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."