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Joke of the Day

"What did one elf girl say to the other elf girl who wasn't sharing? ""Stop being so elfish, Karen!"""

"Almost a billion dollars have been spent on campaign ads so far. It's a good thing our schools & economy are in great shape or I'd be pissed"

"How much skin does it take to cover a vagina? /sticks out tongue"

"What do you call Bob Dylan sucking your dick in a hurricane? The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind."

"Luis Suarez is teaming up with Joe Hart to advertise Head and bloody Shoulders."

"""Well, there's no point in starting that now."" - Friday, 3pm"

"A terrorist walks into a Akbar"

"Sorry I said ""nice phone"" when you showed me a photo of your baby."

"What do you get when you move 32 Texans into the same room? A full set of teeth"

"Girls are only after me for my money. That is why no girls are after me."