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Joke of the Day

"There are three rings that come with every marriage... First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, and lastly the suffering."

"Tomorrow I'm going to start using big words to sound smart....Sorry, I meant utilizing gargantuan idioms to simulate intelligence"

"What's the difference between a job and a wife? After 10 years, the job still sucks."

"Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and ""we'll see what happens"" is considered inappropriate."

"Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat"

"If a deaf person gets arrested Does the officer still have to read them their rights?"

"Why is my ass good. Because I poop out of it and pick up average household items with it"

"Van Gogh's best friend was his brother Theo He would often lend him an ear."

"Two ducks are in a pond One says ""quack!"" The other says ""man, i was just about to say that!"""

"What do somolian pirates use as weapons? Arrrrpg's"