156897

Joke of the Day

"Putin: I have returned Russia to its glory days, once again we have launched a dog into space Reporter: when will it return Putin: WHat"

"A rapist, a carpenter, and Alexander the Great walk into a bar They came, they saw, they conquered"

"What do you call taking a dump after breakfast? A Brexit"

"What's the difference between frustration and satisfaction? What *the* fuck! and What *a* fuck!"

"I messed up my foot pretty bad. The doctors said it would take a while to heel."

"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""

"What is hairy on the outside, wet and fleshy on the inside, begins with C and ends with T, and has both a U and a N in it? Coconut"

"What's a baby seals' least favourite drink? Canadian Club on the Rocks"

"What do you do with a camel that won't move ...Camel tow it"

"Million dollar idea: an alarm clock that plays Nickelback if you hit snooze."