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Joke of the Day
"Why is my ass good. Because I poop out of it and pick up average household items with it"
Next Joke
"I started gaining as much weight as possible... I wanted to become a more well-rounded person"
"What do you call a fish with no eye? fsh"
"My daughter is at that awkward age where she doesn't want to wear the same dirty clothes to school all week long"
"Murphy asked Paddy... Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown"
"How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head."
"Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it."
"You need a woman whose last name doesn't end in .jpg, .wmv, or .mpg"
"How to ask for a raise Employee: Sir, I really need a salary increment, 4 companies are after me. Boss: Which 4? Employee: Electricity, Gas, Cable, Credit Card."
"Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea? The Oyster Bunny!"