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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call the Association of Blood Donors? A: The IV League."

"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."

"Breaking News : Fulham have signed Brazil forward Fred to replace the Michael Jackson Statue outside of the ground."

"Wearing transition lenses is a great way to block out the sun & anyone from wanting to be friends with you."

"The Problem With New Jeans I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight. ""Was anything wrong with them?"" the clerk asked. ""Yes,"" I said. ""They hurt my feelings."""

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims. They go through 50 stories in just a few seconds."

"I love meeting new people. Not you. Don't touch me."

"A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."

"Why did the band 999 megabytes break up? Because they couldn't get a gig."

"If Trump wins the election I am __________________ Fill in the blank"