219907

Joke of the Day

"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."

"Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you have to drink a lot of it."

"If I must die someday, I hope it's in a burrito avalanche."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane? Clearly, I can see your nuts."

"A bear walks into a bar. When he get to the bar he says ""I' ll have a rum and.......coke."" ""Why the long pause?"" asks the bartender. The bear replies ""Well, I am a bear"""

"Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ... Orange is the new Black"

"Sure I get excited when he unzips his pants. I'm pretending it's the sound of his body bag."

"I don't think any of us would have made it to a life boat on Titanic."

"Did you know there are bees that produce milk? Yeah, they are called boo bees."

"I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I'm in prison."