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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the unbuttoning of a shirt and letting your hair down for a cop only works for women."

"They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay.... I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*."

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association"

"Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine. We are never having children."

"Ominous music should play when you meet the wrong ppl."

"Last call for me is when my phone is at 10% battery."

"You hear about the NBA player who married a midget? He was nuts over her."

"*walks into Walmart wearing pants* Walmart employee: Shit, corporate's here"

"Why was Luke Skywalker convicted of rape ? He used the force ."

"So my wife discovered I keep writing ""please help me"" in the memo line of all my personal checks and now I'm not allowed to have checks."