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Joke of the Day

"I wonder how many crimes The Muppets have kermitted."

"Whats a retarded person's favorite season? Autismn"

"Why was lil' Wayne tired after programming? He did too much coding."

"My friend loved to collect tractors but stopped after he had a bad accident in one. These days he helps the fire service by removing all the smoke from burning buildings... ...he is an ex-tractor fan."

"I just went to poop without my phone & had to entertain myself with a magazine like a god damned caveman."

"What does a drug addict and a child have in common? They both want tablets for Christmas."

"Archeologists digging in a site in Egypt found a mummy buried with a large amount of chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be the Pharaoh Roche."

"What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex? The crayon is non-toxic!"

"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? Me: hmm that's a tough one. I guess I'd probably have to say listening is my biggest strength"

"What did the left butt cheek tell the right one..? If we stick together, we can stop this sh*t."