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Joke of the Day

"Cop: anything in your pockets that might hurt me? ""Nah"" *cop pulls out a pic of his ex GF and suspect* Cop: *wiping tears* I'm over it"

"What is the president's favorite vegetable? BARACK-oli. Courtesy of my friend Abraham."

"What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone? It was counter-inuitive."

"What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common? Their balls are just for decoration."

"What's the difference between a man and a margarita? A margarita hits the spot every time!"

"Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth? You're hired."

"I don't get why people think the homeless are unclean... when they have the mintiest breaths I've ever smelled."

"I'm surprised they didn't make an all-female Ghost Busters sooner... Busting ghosts at three quarters on the dollar? What a savings!"

"Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right... Just like two thongs don't make it tight."

"Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling."