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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier? A: To promote off-shore drilling."

"If the Narwhal Bacons at Midnight... Does the Unicorn Potato at Noon?"

"Hey kids, for Halloween, let's go to a spooooky place full of scaaaary, oppressive people & a guy who riiiises from the dead! Kids: Church?"

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a dead baby? I only have one under my bed"

"I'm starting a support group for men who have difficulty ejaculating Let us know if you can't come"

"What do you call a museum for cows? A moo-seum."

"What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride, until your friends find out."

"Why would you never want to go to a gay BBQ? Because the hotdogs taste like shit."

"*steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* ""Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber"" *turns coal into diamond*"

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies."