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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ? Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !"

"imagine a stadium full of Furbies all talking at once"

"""30 shots of espresso NOW."" *barista's eyes widen* Whoa what do you do for a living? ""I STAY AWAKE FOR A LIVING!"" *roundhouse kicks barista*"

"A jew , a christian, and a muslim board a plane The stewardess says : ahh, you guys again?"

"I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters"

"What do you call a company that makes Mexicans? A MexiCo."

"I told my mate that my newborn baby's stomach was the size of a walnut. . . . ""Just feed him a walnut then."""

"What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge? Killed."

"Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one."

"What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa monster? - Grandma monster"