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Joke of the Day

"I was going to yell ""Surprise!"" but missed the opportunity, now I'm stuck standing behind a curtain wondering when this becomes stalking."

"Welcome to Premature Ejaculation Club A lot of you came early, I'm not surprised"

"Hey Can_ZigZag: what did one burning bush say to the other? Ain't no way they're makin' a fuel out of me!"

"My neck tattoos are so big the three people after me don't get hired either."

"Why do churches ban Wifi Networks? Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works."

"Did you hear the joke about the sewing machine? It'll leave you in stitches!"

"God wouldn't have made children so short if he didn't want you to fart in their faces."

"MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home."

"If prisoners were allowed to take their own mugshots they would be called, cellfies."

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies"