99544
Joke of the Day
"If prisoners were allowed to take their own mugshots they would be called, cellfies."
Next Joke
"What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together? A Mini Golf."
"""Want to get a drink?"" ""Later:"" ""How about now?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" --If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend."
"What do you call a muscular Arab A protein sheikh"
"New York: The city that never sleeps. Berlin: The city that never sleeps until Sunday. Paris: The city that never sleeps alone."
"I just watched a documentary about hydroelectricity Best dam program I've seen in a long time."
"Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]"
"I just sneezed so violently, I think it qualifies as an ab workout. (Screw you, I'm counting it.)"
"If I were a mob boss, I'd ask my henchmen to meet me down by the docks, then surprise them with a day of water skiing"
"A man walks into a bar..... His alcoholism is tearing his family apart."