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Joke of the Day
"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies"
Next Joke
"*shitting pants, crying, missing my shoe* yoga instructor: you need to leave me: oh is this not child's pose?"
"What is both a fruit and a vegetable? Elton John in a coma."
"I think my iPhone is broken. I keep pressing the home button but I'm still at work!"
"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."
"Some asshole has got my pen is what the nurse said when she noticed she had a rectal thermometer in her pocket. edit: punctuation."
"Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon"
"Why is Michael Jordan's Jersey number 23? Because then he will always be in prime."
"What do you call a Mexican nurse? [A care beaner.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabiner)"
"(Dirty) joke from 14th century (or maybe even older) What is long and likes to pry in a hole? A key."