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Joke of the Day
"Two fish were in a tank. One says, you man the main cannon, I'll drive."
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"[NYE] ME: *wearing 2017 glasses* OPTOMETRIST: *rubbing his temples* Stephanie your eyesight may be bad but you really only need one pair"
"What do you call a slutty midget? A tator thot."
"What joke would piss off any redditor? Update 1: Punchline removed."
"My boss yelled at me yesterday ""It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!"" I said, ""Probably that it's Friday?""..."
"I'd be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now"
"Why Did the Native Americans Car Break Down? Their Injun died on them!"
"The longest I've been sober is 5 years... ...then I turned six years old"
"What do you call a nocturnal bird that likes both men and women? A bisexuowl. I'm sorry."
"How do you stop an Albanian tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."