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Joke of the Day
"The longest I've been sober is 5 years... ...then I turned six years old"
Next Joke
"I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. And then it dawned on me."
"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."
"What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common? They both watch whales."
"Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said ""Hell I'm no actor and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"""
"Currently eating organic raspberries that I didn't wash over my kitchen sink, in case any ladies out there dig the whole ""bad boy"" persona."
"What are snails trying to do? Their best"
"""AUGHHGGUAUGGHGHGHGHGGGGH!!!!!!!!"" - killer wail"
"So this blonde walks in to a computer store... ... and says to the employee; have you got any curtains? Employee says; um no sorry this is a computer store Blonde; duhh, I have windows."
"What kind of car does a cat drive? A Cadillac."