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Joke of the Day
"When you're fast enough to be at two spots at the same time. *Fat"
Next Joke
"Ants Dancing Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""
"Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod."
"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"
"Dogs can't operate an MRI machine But catscan"
"My least favorite thing about babies is how they don't understand it's the weekend."
"What do you call Batman skipping church? Christian Bail."
"Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter"
"I'm sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body."
"I heard there are only 140 characters allowed on Twitter, but that can't be true. I've been on there before - almost everyone is a character."