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Joke of the Day

"So ladies, Oscar Pistorius is single... and he is ..."

"What's the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest? A pimple waits until you're 13-years-old before coming on your face."

"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."

"In calculus class we just finished revolutions of solids It made my head spin."

"How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light."

"not a day goes by that i don't think about dying and then accidentally getting sent to squirrel heaven"

"Hey girl is your name Karl Marx? Cuz you're starting an uprising in my lower classes"

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year."

"Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble... And every day, I tell him we're sold out. Can't he buy Monopoly instead?"

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"